August 19, 2008
The Summer
Finn, at A Life Less Ordinary, recently remarked about how fast the summer has gone by and how she'd not accomplished all she'd hoped.
The less-enlightened male readers are probably thinking, "A Life Less Ordinary" is written by a woman and women always need something to complain about. Maybe her husband is able to tie his shoes to her liking so she's complaining about this instead."
The female readers… well… they've likely quit reading following that last crack.
Anyway, just the other day I was thinking this has got to be the quickest summer on record. Part of the reason is the school break was shorter than the break we used to get when I was younger. If this were 1968 we'd have two weeks of break left.
And gas would be 29 cents a gallon.
And we'd be involved in a war we couldn't win. (So some things are the same!)
I've had a sense the summer was passing me by for a while. Last year by the end of July I'd taken several 50-plus-mile bike rides with at least one that was 60-plus (I'd gotten a bit lost). By the end of June I think I'd logged about 1,500 miles on The Mighty Schwinn; I recall thinking I'd hit 3000 miles by the end of the year, so this makes sense.
I was also spending a couple nights a week kind of swimming laps. If you've been reading since last summer you'll recall I sort of flail around in a pool; I never really developed anything approaching a good stroke and swam most of my laps close to drowning.
I don't miss the swimming. I'd no intention of swimming this year. It's just that last year I seemed to have the time and this year I don't.
And the cycling? I've done 867 miles so far. Last year I'd typically go to work, leave, hop on the bike, pedal around a while, then walk to the pool. Some nights I'd ride to the best McDonald's in the franchise, have a Fruit & Yogurt Parfait, and roll home around dusk. Once in a while, from Micky D's, I'd call a friend of mine to let them know what they were missing by not being on their bicycle.
Not this year though. And I sort of puzzle over what I'm doing with my time since I'm not on the bike or struggling to keep my head off the bottom of a pool.
This year I am getting more yard work done as I'm trying to be a better neighbor by keeping America more beautiful. And this may be for nothing. The people up on the corner not far from me have had trash laying at the edge of their yard since last Wednesday; and this is not uncommon for them. The little corner of Old Hilliard I live in has a keen interest in the colors we might use to repaint our homes and they're making a stink about the signs businesses may use. Leave trash on the ground for a week and they seem to be cool with that — the balled up disposable diapers I don't mind so much as they stay put… the chip bags tend to blow all over the place. It is worth noting the windows of the house in question are painted an approved-by-Old-Hilliard color.
Blah blah blah.
Yard work doesn't account for everything. I have a very small yard and even though I dig more holes in mine than the average person that can't be all of it. I used to go to Mel's a lot for breakfast and now that he no longer serves breakfast I've had to chose a place a bit further away; so, that's ten minutes each Saturday.
I've started tying my shoes with the bows in the middle of the tongue — that's fifteen or twenty seconds a day.
I guess it all adds up.
Technorati Tags: McDonald's, Mel's Diner, Trash
Posted by delmer at 7:20 AM | Comments (6)
August 18, 2008
Medical Pros
I am currently trying to resolve a billing issue with a medical group.
It is 9:15 a.m. The only reason this is important is because their answering machine says their normal office hours are 9 to 5. I'm convinced someone is in the office and they've forgotten to switch the phone on. That's how this office works.
I have two invoices from this group in front of me.
One of for: -$220.00
The other: $60.00.
You do the math. That first one is a negative number. When our billing kicks out a negative number it means we owe somebody money. To the untrained eye it looks like the medical group owes me $220 on the first invoice.
To the trained eye, and this would be the eye doing God-knows-what with her computer while paying me just the slightest bit of attention, the negative 220 is "nothing to worry about." When I suggested it was something to worry about the gal behind the computer reassured me it was nothing to worry about. I think we had this conversation, if that's what you'd call it, in February.
As the gal and I were discussing this issue my son and I got called into the medical professionals office and I decided to leave the -$220 to another day.
I'm pretty sure I interacted with the same gal the day I called in and asked for an account statement "for last year, so I can give it to my accountant," as it was just a few days after that conversation I received an account statement from January on (see how this wouldn't help with last year's taxes?) and a note that said, "Attached please find the statement you asked to be sent for your attorney."
Accountant. Attorney. They both begin with the letter A.
(It is worth noting my ex was having similar conversations with the same group.)
I called the billing manager and left a message. NOBODY ever called me back.
I called the gal and requested a statement from August 2007 on. I got it. It showed a balance of -$220. That is one of the invoices I currently have in front of me.
Then I got a bill for $60.
I ignored the bill for $60 as I figured it would eventually reconcile itself against the -$220. Or, and this was more likely, the incompetence of the medical group's staff would simply lose track of it. There was also a bit of me thinking that the $60 was from a charge that was part of a conversation that had the medical professional saying, "Let me make a note so you don't get charged for this."
In any case, and to borrow a line from the medical group's gal, it was "nothing to worry about." I mean, it was just about 25% of what they were asking me not to worry about so it was even less of a worry. And, the medical group is comprised of more people than I am (even when you include Gary) so the lack-of-worry is spread across more people. Diluted, if you will.
It appears the medical group cannot not worry. I just got another bill for $60.00 stating I'm 120 days past due and they'd like a call. And this brings up another point, I just said they cannot not worry and I may be wrong. I called right at 9, then 9:05, 9:10 and 9:15. Each time I got the message telling me they were currently closed but they opened at 9. So they seem to be able to not worry about business to the point they don't turn the phones on promptly. (And if it seems I'm being picky here, this is not the first time I've had this experience with them.)
I think I've found a clue to the problem. The -$220 belongs to a separate account number than the $60. Both accounts belong to the same client and billing address.
By the way, we no longer work with this group of professionals.
[Update: I called the office and left a message for the billing department to call me back. We'll see what happens.]
Technorati Tags: Incompetence
Posted by delmer at 9:15 AM | Comments (11)
August 17, 2008
What can I get with this?
*Excludes electronics, entertainment, power tools, Lands' End® merchandise, landsend.com, sears.com, thegreatindoors.com, Computers, Video Games, Video game consoles, CDs, DVDs, gift cards and Smart Plan Protection Agreements.
Wouldn't it have been easier to say: 10% Off Hand Towels at Kmart.com?
Posted by delmer at 12:27 AM | Comments (11)
August 16, 2008
Dinner with Gary
I had dinner with Gary last night. So you know this is going to be interesting.
His boys had just come back to spend a week with him — we're on a similar schedule kid-wise — and as we sat on the back patio his youngest came out.
"Dad," he said, looking at Gary, "What can I do about soreness?"
"What kind of soreness?"
"My legs are sore. We had soccer practice Tuesday night. We thought it was at 7:15 but it was at 7:00 so we got there late and I missed the stretching"
"Did your brothers go with you and cheer you on?" I asked.
"No," the boy said, "it was just me and mom."
Gary got up, administered a little Ben Gay to the sore areas, and returned to the patio.
"Tuesday," I said?
"Yes," he replied.
"The Tuesday before the Wednesday that your ex met with middle boy's therapy person and told him you had trouble getting the children to school and activities on time?"
"That would be the one."
"The Tuesday before the Thursday you and she and the therapy person would meet and in which she'd say she had a sense the boys never knew where they were supposed to be and when while they were with you."
"Yes, that Tuesday."
"Well," I said. "I can see how it might happen. After all there are three children and it's hard to keep track of everything everybody's got going on. She likely confused another child's activity with the youngest's."
"Maybe," said Gary. "But the other two have nothing going on right now. No sports. No activities."
"Hmmm," said I. "Hey! Does she still complain about the way you tie your shoes?"
"No. Not since she asked me to leave all those years ago. Are you going to put the 'shoes' thing in the blog?"
"Most certainly."
"And you think people will believe it?" asked Gary.
"Dude. There's some shit you just can't make up."
Technorati Tags: Divorce, Women
Posted by delmer at 12:00 AM | Comments (8)
August 15, 2008
The Bug Man
"Has the bug man been here?" I just asked the 20-something gal (and nicest person at our company) as I stepped out of my office. "It smells like someone's sprayed for bugs."
"Is it my perfume?" asked the nicest person at our company as she offered up her wrist.
And it was. And I had not been trying to be funny.
She normally smells like vanilla hand lotion.
Technorati Tags: Embarrassment
Posted by delmer at 6:23 PM | Comments (5)
Failed Install
I'm not sure what "completely destroyed" means in this instance.
It reduces itself to a pile of silicon powder? It explodes taking a city block with it?
I know that following the directions resulted in a failed install and a drive that no longer works like it used to.
I'll bet that's what gets them off the hook. Installation never completed, therefore, technically, I did remove the drive before the installation was complete.
I had to. I wanted to go home.
In any case, I can still use the drive as a storage device, it's just that it's missing some of its bonus features.
Technorati Tags: IT
Posted by delmer at 1:51 PM | Comments (2)
SPS
Gary called me yesterday.
"Oh man, I've got something to tell you that you gotta hear."
"I've got something for you too," I said, thinking I'd share the story about getting hit (okay, "nudged") by a truck on my bike. "You go first," I said. And because we're guys and not love-struck teens (or stereotyped gay men) he went first without any of that "no you go first" nonsense.
"Last night the ex and I had a meeting with the middle boy's therapy person. I got there about 15 minutes before the ex. Which, I now think, was by design on the doctor's part."
"Why's that," I asked.
"Well, he asked me into his office right away. Normally one of us waited outside until we all arrived. When I sat down he asked how things were going and we exchanged ten seconds of pleasantries. Then he asked me if I had trouble getting the kids to school and events on time. I told him 'no, not normally.' The doctor then told me he'd been told the boys were tardy at school quite a bit last year."
"I wonder who could have told him that?"
"I can only imagine that's the word on the street," said Gary.
"Well," I started, and then finished with, "I had lunch with Huggy Bear earlier and he didn't say anything about it."
Gary continued, "I told the doc the boys had been tardy a lot the year before last and that was my fault. I thought they needed to be to school at 8:30 when, in fact, they needed to be at their desks by 8:30. When I got that sorted out the tardiness ended. This past year, however, we were on time the vast majority of the time. I told the doc I'd be happy to send him the attendance records as I thought this might clear up who is more likely to be giving him bad information. As for the sports and recreation things, well, there's three of them."
Just like me, I thought.
"Last year," he continued "I drove 170 miles one Sunday between soccer and football fields and never left Columbus. I saw half a football game and half a soccer game. Once in a while something gets screwed up. I think, though, one of the items he's referring to… the word that may be on the street… involves a game Samson missed. In the past it had been assumed I just hadn't taken him to a practice when, in fact, he was home, sick in bed, and I'd driven to the field to let the coaches know he was home sick."
"Hmmm," I said, doing my Wankle-engine impression, "So, it's almost like there was some sort of thought out there that you missed something when, in fact, you'd gone an extra step to make sure everybody knew what was going on."
"Yes. However, I'm not without blame. I goofed one or two things up over the course of the season."
"When did the ex show up?"
"A few minutes later. And you know, she didn't look at me once the whole time we were in there."
"Really! Hmmp. What were you wearing?"
"Something similar to the getup you had on the other day when you were moving dirt and mulch around."
"That's an interesting choice. I thought maybe you had on a McCain shirt or something."
"McCain? Yea, right. No. I had on a pink polo shirt I got at Target for $3.64. I picked up two that day. I can't imagine why they were the only ones marked down."
"How'd the rest of the meeting go?"
"Well, at one point we discussed the ex's method of checking for homework vs. mine. She goes through backpacks and makes sure everything written down gets done. I say something like, "who has homework," and leave the boys to take care of it. I don't think it was done on purpose, but her impression of me asking about the homework was not, uh, well it wasn't snotty…"
"But you sensed disapproval?"
"Yea."
I asked, "Do you think the boys got more homework slips when they were with one of you more than the other."
"No.The big homework problem was things weren't getting written down in the first place. By the child. At school. If the assignment isn't in the book the ex wasn't going to read about it and neither was the child. They'd get homework slips when they missed things with her, and they'd get some when they were with me. From March to May the middle boy just had one homework slip and he got that one when he was away from me. Getting just one in that time period was an incredible feat as he'd been getting one or two, or more, weekly."
"Do you think it helps the child to go through his backpack every night?," I asked. "When do they learn they have to be responsible for their own things?"
"Well," said Gary, "People have different styles."
"Your ex always seemed to have pretty good organizational skills."
"There was an undercurrent of her superior-orgaizational-skillness floating around the meeting."
"How'd you feel about the whole thing," I asked. We are 21st-Century men after all. Feelings are important.
"Dude. This was nothing new. I was so unfazed by the whole thing that I got worried that maybe I'm out of touch with reality. I honestly think I'm a decent person, a nice guy, a good father, and able to pull of wearing a pink shirt. And while I honestly think that, I accept the fact I may be delusional. However, I like to think my therapy person would tell me if I were."
"Maybe you're just tired and worn down."
"Maybe. Anyway, when I went home I pulled out the attendance records from last year."
"You actually had them?"
"Yea. And I knew where they were. I had them in my hands five minutes after I walked in the door."
"Are you sure you aren't exaggerating?"
"Maybe. It could have been three or four minutes. I got a glass of milk first."
"Calcium is important," I said. "What'd you find?"
"Last year the youngest was tardy 0 times, the middle boy was tardy 3 times and the eldest boy was tardy 6 times."
"Don't they all ride the same bus or get out of the same car at the same time?" I asked.
"Yes. And I've wondered the same thing. Maybe the youngest's room is closer to the door. I don't know. Maybe the teachers mark tardies differently. Maybe the youngest goofs off less than the other two. As for the eldest boy, I'm sure he piddles around and talks to everybody he sees in the hallway; he refuses to be rushed."
"In any case, zero, three and six hardly seems epidemic. Even if you were responsible for each and every one."
"Oh… what do we know? We're just guys. We could never parent like a woman. It's foolish to even try. So what happened to you that you wanted to tell me about."
"Nothing that compares to that."
(You know you've had a shitty day when getting hit (okay, "nudged") on a bike by a truck isn't the crappiest thing that's happened.)
[If we accept the fact that one tardy is too many, how many tardies does a child need to have been tardy all the time?]
Technorati Tags: Divorce, Parenting, Superior Parent Syndrome
Posted by delmer at 1:37 AM | Comments (5)
August 14, 2008
Rethinking Cookies
You know.
I try very hard not to inconvenience people. I don't want to be a pain or put anybody out.
And I've been thinking.
I have friends I rarely see or hear from unless their computer get feisty. When they call they always say, "I know I only call when I have a computer problem …" And they seem to feel bad about it. But it never bothers me, I don't care, I know they don't have a lot of time to socialize, they have jobs and obligations, they may have kids, we've been friends for years and sometimes decades. I would drive for hours to help them out and not think a thing of it. (Let me reiterate: Before any of these friends read this and think I'm complaining, I'm not. We're all busy. Sometimes a computer problem is the thing that makes us both take the time out of our days to get together.)
I call these same friends when I have problems I think they can help with. Regardless of the amount of time that's passed. Still, I sometimes feel guilty about it and try not to be a bother.
In the past I've sent a book I didn't need to a guy I don't know who lives in Canada. I've helped people I'd just met solve computer problems (because I think paying $80 to have the Geek Squad drive up is, well, I don't know how to describe it … mostly I think everybody should know a computer guy who can help them out for free). I've helped people I've never met solve computer problems they'd considered paying to have fixed. I mailed a cycling jersey off to a guy I don't know because by the time I was going to be small enough to wear it I'd have been seven or eight years into decomposition.
I didn't do any of this begrudgingly or so I could tell you all about it days and months and years after the events happened. I did it because I like to help and it made me feel good. (And at the end of the day it's all about me.)
I recently joked about people not sending me Oatmeal Raisin Cookies despite my numerous references to them. And several people offered to send some. And I said they really didn't have to, as much as I appreciated the offer.
And then I thought, maybe sending me cookies will make them feel better. And who am I to deny another person happiness? Well, I guess, and according to my divorce decree, I'm not always a happiness carrier, but this is so much not like being married to me.
Here's something I've not mentioned about the cookies before. I'm not sure how smart it would be to eat things that come in the mail from strangers. At least one of you has access to large amounts of Coumadin, and I'm worries someone might poison me (I'd recognize the one I'm most worried about's handwriting and return address). I'm also a bit worried about people showing up at my home, not because they wouldn't be welcomed, but because sometimes I have underwear hanging on the kitchen chairs.
Anyway, if anyone is still on board with the cookies thing… wait wait wait. Just send one or two. I lack anything in the way of self control and maintain everything a person picks up at the supermarket is a single-sized serving. It's the main reason I don't keep chips in the house — if I have a two-ounce bag of Lays, it goes down in one sitting … the same holds true for the one-pound bag. I have the willpower to not buy bad stuff; I lack the willpower it takes to let things age in my cupboard. (Beer can go untouched in my fridge for months. So long, in fact, I'll forget I have it.)
So, if anyone is still on board with sending cookies, or precious gems, I thought I'd give out my work address: 4282 Reynolds Drive, Hilliard, OH 43026.
I'm the only "Delmer" in the building, but if you want a last name it's "Wells."
Oh, no nuts please.
Technorati Tags: Cookies
Posted by delmer at 1:11 AM | Comments (7)
August 13, 2008
Hey, I just got hit
Well, nudged really. But it was still troubling.
It was during my lunchtime bike ride.
I was approaching a a cross street and the pickup truck coming out was making a left. I was near the curb so traffic could get by.
I can't really describe what happened but the driver must have started moving about the time I was almost in front of him. There was a point where the grill of his truck invaded my personal space and I could have put my elbow out and hit it. Which is about the time I yelled. This was followed by part of the truck making light contact with my rear tire.
It all happened very fast.
A truck grill looks monstrous when the truck is jacked up, it's bearing down on you, and is so close you can't unclip your right foot. When it was all said and done I couldn't believe he didn't make contact with part of my body.
I know what your thinking, "Light contact is no big deal." And it's not, until you consider "no contact" is the goal. And "light contact" is not what stopped him, he was on his brakes by then and momentum carried him forward just a hair more. He may have already seen me by the time I'd yelled. (And this was a manly yell. Not a "is that a spider on my desk" yell.)
I'm sure he was just as shaken as I was.
It could have been worse. Whatever part of his truck it was that nudged me cleaned a bit of mud off my tire.
(I had not made eye contact with this driver. I normally do. I don't know why I didn't this time. He may have had his window up and maybe they were tinted. It may have been a timing thing. It is worth noting.)
Technorati Tags: Cycling, Safety
Posted by delmer at 1:02 PM | Comments (15)
Cycling and The Man
There are three of us who ride our bikes to work.
One of my coworkers was stopped by the Hilliard Police yesterday morning for not having a light on her bike. I'm guessing, based on when I think she starts work, it would have been about 5:15 a.m. and dark out.
While I hope she got a warning I think it's fine she was stopped.
I probably keep a better eye open for cyclists than most people. There have been too many times when I'll take a look to the left or right and catch just a hint of motion — which I always assume is John Parr though it never is — that will be a bicyclist tooling along in the early-evening dusk. The cyclists I've seen have always been far enough away that their pseudo-invisibility has never been a problem for either of us.
One of my friends, howerver, has reported he almost pulled out in front of a bicycle he didn't see until the last second. This would have been early morning.
We are harder to see later in the morning and earlier in the evening than we think.
A cheap little light at the front and rear makes all the difference in the world. It's not about the cyclist being able to see the road any better, it's about cars being able to see us.
I see a lot of kids out at night, on bikes or wakling, and I'm sure they think they can be seen. Often they can't be. Well, obviously they can be seen or I wouldn't be seeing them. But I'm normally walking and they're not as visible as they could be with lights on their bike or light-colored clothing. (And maybe there are thousands of kids out that go undetected by me.)
Get some lights people. Especially for your kids.
Technorati Tags: Cycling, Driving
Posted by delmer at 7:53 AM | Comments (6)